the -ssociated press stylebook. the sacred text of journalists and journalism students that is dogmaticly followed regardless of whether the rule is outdated or makes the writing worse.
editor in chief: go ask copy.
business editor: hey copy, what’s the style for “power ranger”?
copy editor: there’s no stylebook entry for “power ranger.” i think the most appropriate synonym in the stylebook is “superhero.”
business editor: seriously, let’s ignore the stylebook on this one.
editor in chief: what? we never ignore the stylebook.
business editor: even when it’s stupid?
editor in chief: we don’t need a stylebook to tell us what makes sense. we need a stylebook to tell us what doesn’t.
business editor: but “superhero” is a shared copyright of marvel and time warner. that’s going to get us in some sh-t.
copy editor: i think “power rangers” is a copyright of the bandai corporation.
business editor: time warner has tougher lawyers.
copy editor: we’re a newspaper. they can’t sue us for that.
business editor: they’re time warner lawyers. they can sue us for eating breakfast.
editor in chief: we are not breaking the stylebook. end of discussion.
the -ssociated press stylebook in fact states on the front cover even before the t-tle that it is “the bible of the newspaper industry.”
to journalism students, the -ssociated press is big brother. to journalism students, the -ssociated press stylebook is hammurabi’s law. the stylebook frequently states “despite the spelling in merriam-webster’s collegiate dictionary, this word should be spelled…”
it also includes a 41 page ‘briefing on media law.’ this is the result of big brother and hammurabi collaborating and writing 20 pages on what not to do… and then 21 pages on how to get away with it every single time.
“why did you change the spelling of grey to gray?”
“because the stylebook told me to do so…”
- Harun Yahya
a turkish conspiracy theorist, holocaust denier and proponent of islamic creationism. some of his views and claims: – zionism is related to freemasonry – there was no holocaust, just a typhus epidemic (for which there is no historic evidence) that caused the death of some (!) jews. – terrorism, including islamic terrorism, is not the […]
- land beluga
an albino with down syndrome. “d-mn son, that land beluga is harshing my mellow.”
- Pee Pal
a friend that let’s you pee on them. i can’t wait to visit my friend i dallas, he is my pee pal.
- lo main
a shortened term for “low maintenance”, obviously punning on ” lo mein”. that girl is pretty lo main. she just had the lo mein.
used when something sucks the b-lls. john: “man, that test was hard.” matt: “yea, it really suckadab-lls”