subahole
the person driving the subaru in front of you, most typically found in and around boulder colorado, carefully monitoring their speed to be driving 10 mph less than the posted speed limit such that the faux golden retriever mutt that they picked up at the humane society doesn’t get car sick after its recent canine acupuncture treatment. a subahole} can also be found parked indefinitely at stoplights because of their inability to move their foot from the brake petal to the accelerator before the light turns red again; caused by the confusion of the incoherent rhythms of the phish song playing on their car stereo. this phenomenon has resulted in the common b-mper sticker: “boulder, colorado: an -sshole who can’t drive in every subaru”.
we will never get there on time, there are just too many subaholes on the road today.
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