Susie Chapstick

a cr-p that remains partially lodged in the -sshole and requires copious amounts of toilet paper to wipe off. it’s so named because the mechanics of the said cr-p are very similar to a container of chapstick as it gradually rises out of the tube and is very slowly wiped off. a susie chapstick usually involves a fecal consistency that is very pasty or putty-like (see definition for “chad”), and often occurs when the individual is semi-constipated, thus lacking the gi motility to p-ss that offending last piece of sh-t completely through the -n-s. ironically, susie chapsticks have a high affinity for occurring in public restrooms with limited or low-grade toilet paper, and no plunger anywhere in sight. to add insult to injury, the person having such a cr-p is also normally late for something important, like a hot date or job interview.
wow…wally has sure been in there a long time. i keep hearing the toilet flush and thought i also heard plunging. he must be having some h-llacious susie chapstick cr-ps after going on those pain pills.