sward
pr-nunciation:
swärd
function:
verb
etymology:
middle english swahrd, from old english swhahrd; akin to old high german swärd to sward something
date:
before 12th century
intransitive verb1: to unfurl an epic diatribe of utter bullsh-t while being completely unaware that your existence has become a absolute joke to all those around you
practice2: a fugly tw-t
businessman 1: how did the big meeting go today, tom?
businessman 2: not good; i was definitely swarding my -ss off.
a misspelling of sword. coined in ap world history during a whole cl-ss project to recreate a war between the persians and the greeks. m-ss lulz was produced.
one student: “who typed this?!”
other student: “everyone knows that swards are larger than swords…”
teacher: “okay so i just wanna go back that on our night attack… on a little tiny goat trail… who had horses -’cause they won’t get tired!- are going to have a shield… a sward… an axe… whose spear… a javelin… of course there’ll be extra hunting supplies with them as well…”
(and remember: archers are obviously hunters)
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