Swayz-fu

bad–ss noun. pr-nounced “sways-foo.”

a style of kung fu for the conscientious, considerate combat artist. this master of eastern philosophy and western cool can kick -ss in all walks of life – be it on (or with) his surfboard, falling out of a plane and fighting in mid-air, serving in the army (where he never quite gives in to the collective jarhead ident-ty of his fellow soldiers), sniping commies in the mountains, driving long-haul trucks, bouncing for roadside bars or even making pottery from beyond the grave – while showing just enough softness to let those around him know he’d rather be meditating, accepting the energy of waves or bedding major babes.

a word of warning, should you come across a learned pretty-boy disciple of swayz-fu, do not underestimate or test said disciple, and most importantly, do not join forces with forces of corruption to bring him down, cuz he’ll rip your f-ckin’ throat out with a lightning fast cobra strike.
ex. 1: after performing a touching dance routine with a formerly awkward, newly confident teenage girl, an anonymous greaseball punk was foolish enough to question the s-xual orientation of the softshoeing creator of the legendary swayz-fu while also making an aggressive p-ss at the girl. he was rewarded accordingly with a destructive palm to the nose and a crunching knee to the groin.

ex. 2: should you live only to get radical, the way of swayz-fu is the one true path. 100% pure adrenaline.