Swife

noun. a wife who is prepared for anything. similar to a swiss army knife.
“i wish i had some floss.”
wife hands husband some travel size floss!
wife is obviously a swife.
a wife who is sweet
“you won’t believe what laura did for me today. she did my laundry and i came home to a hot homemade dinner.”

“you’ve got yourself a swife.”
a slang term used to call someone a real motherf-ckerly, shady, and or cheap -ss b-st-rd. kind of synonymous to a cheapskate but really much worse.
if somebody stiffs you a tip they are a swife piece of sh-t. if someone comes to your house and eats your last cookie without permission they are a swife -ss motherf-cker. if someone cuts you off and then tries to brake check you they are swife as f-ck.
to swear on one’s life.
bill: i swife that nikky cage is a great actor

joe: you’re going to h-ll
swife means a “swapped-wife”.
{knock, knock}

{door opens}

“h-llo george! h-llo el… whose this? where’s eleanor?”

“eleanor is with a buddy of mine. this is my swife for the week, her name is sharon.”

“oh. gee, maybe you could be my swife sometime?”

“sure, that is if you got a tasty fox for my husband. let me get my planner.”
used exclusively as a verb. derived from “swova.”

1. to swear on your life. similar to “swear to g-d” or “swova,” swife denotes that the speaker is placing a huge amount of credibility on his statement, due to the fact that he has laid his life down as collateral in order to provide credibility.

used to filter comments in serious situations, where it is imperative that one know whether or not someone is being serious, or just kidding.
guy #1: dude, your brother is in the hospital.
guy #2: swife? (ie. do you swear on your life?)
guy #1: yes!
guy #2: !-#@!
a male, with a p-n-s, whose pubic hair is longer than his p-n-s, which usually tends to be quite small, that the pubic hair is braided or corn rowed.
warren sewell, whose p-n-s is very tiny, took his pubic hair and got it swifed