SwitchWiping
the act of wiping your -ss with the off hand while using your main hand for stability. it is imperative to keep your main hand firmly planted while performing the act to prevent a switchwiping stain. variations of the switchwipe include front-to-back switchwiping for the ladies out there, side-switchwiping for the leaners “you know who you are”, and last but not least, dutchrudder-switchwiping for the daring curious bro who likes a challenge.
note: if you get caught switchwiping and get called out on it you must stop midwipe, pull up your pants, or not if your a nudist, and bask in the glory of the magnificent feat you have just accomplished.
after arriving in the restroom at the truckstop and seeing the disturbing, repulsive sight of the public toilet, i knew at once what needed to be done. placing my hand firmly on the paper dispenser to the right, i started what would turn out to be the first switchwipe in history. as i began the act, my bro walked in and spotted me in this newfound wiping position. we became so stoked at this point that we went up for high fives. as the high five commenced, i lost my main hand stability and suffered my first and last switchwiping stain. as i noted above, main hand stability is of utmost importance to prevent the sw stain.
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