the swizzlecap is a particular breed of male, usually but not necessarily a sports fan. the chief identifying mark is the baseball cap worn backwards or “swizzled” on the head at all times. the acute lack of fashion sense of the swizzlecap leads to inappropriate head adornment at fine restaurants, funerals, weddings, bar mitzvahs and other formal occasions. secondary swizzlecap characteristics include a tendency toward pack animal behavior, generally questionable personal hygiene and a strong attraction to their vapid and bland female counterparts known as “swizzlesticks”
let’s avoid chicago’s lakeview neighborhood tonight. there was a cubs game and every bar will be full of swizzlecaps.

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