Taint Pirate
a man so s-xually charged that he makes no distinction as to whether he prefers tossing salad or eating out women. sometimes, the whole goal is to appear to be doing one or the other, but really striving to lick the taint, which he considers the ultimate prize. this is how the taint pirate records his victories, which are determined by taint-tongue contact.
woman: you know, that’s not exactly the spot.
taint pirate: oh, sorry. (then muttering under breath) the taint pirate srikes again!
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