Tardex
a pharmaceutical product sold in health food stores and marketed to athletes and bodybuilders. it comes in the form of powder which can be mixed with juice to provide “super r-t-rd strength” to the user. users of tardex® report a drastic increase in physical strength for a period of several hours, usually accompanied by a marked decrease in mental capacity and an increase of salivary activity.
tardex® powder comes in large, 1 kg. canisters and is generally mixed with apple juice. the instruction label is divided into “before use” and “after use” sections. the first part advises on proper dosage and recommends that the user wear a hockey helmet, the “after use” section, printed in 36 pt. type, simply stating “no! no! no! no touch! bad! bad! go away!”
“super r-t-rd strength,” a trademarked phrase of downs pharmaceuticals, inc., has been frequently attacked as derogatory by the arc and similar advocacy groups, playing upon the supposedly-abnormal muscular strength of mentally r-t-rded people. also, the claim that its active ingredient is “pure seattle brain water” is disputed.
the u.s. olympic commission stripped the gold medal from the athlete for illegal use of tardex, having been tipped off by the drool streaks on his jersey.
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