technoob

origins- technology, newbie (noob, n00b, etc)
pr-nunciation- tek-new-b

a person that knows little to nothing about computers, or other devices that make humming noises and have various b-ttons. best examplified in roger fox of the foxtrot comic strip, he could deftly delete the hard drive in a few clicks of the mouse. dilbert’s the pointy haired boss is another good example, as he is easily fooled into thinking an “etch-a-sketch” board is a laptop computer.

more often than not, they are a baby boomer, or somewhere in between 40 and 80 years of age, though people younger than 12 have often exibited the symptoms. if someone has trouble turning a computer or other electronic device on or off, can’t figure out how to use it when it is on, or wonders what this or that does, they are a technoob.

what to do if you encounter one- first of all, remove the device from his or her hands, and hide it behind your back. (in the case of a computer, turn off the monitor if possible, or quickly shut it down) if you are lucky, they will quickly forget what they were doing within seconds, and go hammer on something or ask you if rocketdial has really sent people to the moon. if they seem like they are going to erase all of the memory on your computer, or install viruses, it is best to take them out with something they can understand- a baseball bat. if nothing works, may the force be with you. (tazers usually work quite well)
college student- aiiii! my little sister just opened my spam folder and opened all of the e-mails and now my computer’s meeelllting!

security person- fear not, i brought my tazer to work today. 🙂

college student- ahh! thank you for saving me from the technoob!