Ted Mosby

1. the main character on himym. while ted is sweet, awesome, and romantic, he can also be rather douchey (and that’s douchey, not douché) as a reflection of his personality in college. his main goal during his late 20s and early 30s is to find a wife, and he pursues many ill-fated relationships to fulfill this goal.

2. a man whose life is way too focussed on getting married and having children.

3. a noted fictional p-rn star, s-x architect, and philanderer described in tedmosbyisajerkcom
man: guys! why am i not married yet? i’m almost 24! my biological clock is ticking! i’m so lonely in this world! i just want a wife and lots of babies to call my own!

everybody else: dude! don’t be such a ted mosby. besides, you are a guy, you don’t have a biological clock.
– (v.) to prematurely say “i love you”, the weight of which scares away you’re romantic partner. may be done on purpose to overwhelm someone who is a potential partner and scare them away.

– (n.) a scheme to pick-up women by telling the target your story of being left at the alter during your own wedding. the story will generate enough pity and sympathy that would override the girl’s better judgement.

both definitions named after ted mosby due to his actions in the show “how i met your mother”.
barney: robin i want to be with you.

robin: i love you!!

barney: woahhh, i think we should just be friends…wait you just ted mosby’d me!

barney: sniff- i got left at the alter….

ted: for all those keeping score, the ted mosby worksss!!