telford

a town with a average of 150 thousand people living there in the west midlands of england. many newspaper reports called it the chav capital of the world but there is hundreds of emos around aswell outside the telford courts. a very up-coming town that is always being developed every day. if you walk through certain parts of the town like woodside, randlay, dawley, malinslee and many more and look the wron way at a bunch of chavs you are likley to get stabbed!!
i hate telford its like the chav capital of the world!
telford was developed in the 1970s as a ‘new town’.

keen not to repeat all the errors that made other new towns such dreary crime ridden dumps, such as milton keynes or stevenage, telford development corporation came up with some new and refreshing mistakes all of their own, making telford possible the biggest planning disaster in the whole uk.

in addition to being the chav capital of the uk, it has the world’s largest primark store, the highest teenage pregnancy rate in the solar system and has only about 30% of the population in employment. these are all polish.

it does have some good features. every year without fail it wins the league table of ‘the most g-dless city in the world’ (true) having lowest rate of christian church attendance in the known universe, even beating tehran.
telford: chav capital, ‘most g-dless city in the world’ winner 1999 to 2011, dump.
a very small town.

yet seems to have the highest teen pregnancy rate in the whole of europe.
me: ha you live in telford! did you know it has the highest teen pregnancy rate in europe?

sarah: yeah but it’s right next to wolverhampton which is probably second.

me: so.
a new town in shropshire england.
unemployed: 180,000, all of which are alcoholic or on drugs of some kind.
employed: 20,000, most of which work for social services or the job centre.
adult mentality is that of the average c-cker spaniel, have little aspirations in life apart from which house is next on their “rob list”.
knifepoint muggings at cashpoints and gang war is rife. there’s also an unusually high population of rapists and underage s-x traffickers.
pubs are filled with football louts snorting c-ke off the tables and start riots outside clubs so large that it warrants the nearby military base to control the situation.
north telford called wellington is packed with goths, most go to tcat college but tend to just cut themselves while hiding in the toilets. not many students finish their government paid college term either.
town centre closes at 5pm. yes, the “centre” of the town is inaccessible after 5pm, apart from sundays, when it closes even earlier.
jobs in the area range from factory line worker to factory floor-sweeper but with the 3 industrial estates in the area left abandoned, all that’s left really is agency work who often only find factory line worker jobs that last for around 3 days then it’s back on job seekers again, usually the agency jobs found are out in coventry.
telford does have the world famous iron bridge, nice for a daytrip… but after dark it becomes an area that reminds you of the will smith film “i am legend”.
welcome to telford, where the streets are paved with dog sh-t.
supossed to be a “new town” to bring in nice homes and sh-t but ended up being the chav capital of the uk. home to simthy boy and his b-m buddy elda
smithy boy: check owt ma rhymes man straight out of telford shropshire man check it
me: p-ss off u f-ckin emo go back to being -n-lly penetrated by elda