Tempraplegic

tempraplegic – adjective noun – tém pre pleé jik

the word is derived from “temporal” – related to measured time, and “plegia” – inability to move.

this is a condition that is becoming more pr-nounced in office workers. it affects eyesight, hearing and motor functions. the condition is temporal, in that it manifests itself at 8:00 am and completely disappears at 4:59 pm. it is also known to go away during breaks.

symptoms:

1. person becomes totally unaware of anything beyond their cubicle or computer screen
2. person exhibits an inability to move outside their “area” because their legs actually become very short, hence “plegia”. the shortening of the legs also allows the person to…..
3. cover their -ss, while still having their head buried in the sand
4. communication check valves come into play, whereby incoming phone calls and emails are ignored.
5. in some cases, audio input failure occurs because ear c-n-ls are blocked by headphones or boom boxes blasting over +95 db.
6. vocabulary becomes limited to phrases like, “that’s the ___________ department’s problem.”
7. person lends absolutely no credence to input from experienced outside sources, but requests “more input”.
8. person has overwhelming urge to call for and attend meetings to discuss and ignore input mentioned in item 7.
“after a heavy lunch, bill becomes tempraplegic.”