Tesco Value Vodka
oh sweet aqua vitae!
britain’s cheapest vodka brand, only available in tesco stores.
it has become the staple alcoholic beverage of students and tramps across the united kingdom, usually mixed with equally low budget soft drinks.
when exposed to freshers this beverage, above all others, has been proven to result in events of great hilarity and/or death.
many theories surrounding the actual ingredients of this mythical elixir exist, it is most probably fermented primarily from the alcohol soaked clothing of dead irish men – giving it that slight after taste of guinness… and corpse.
adam: “have you seen xander recently?”
ben: “aye, last night, he’ll be out of it for a while though – he downed a bottle of tesco value vodka”
adam: “oh s###! what happened?”
ben: “he got naked and spent the entire evening singing burlington burtie then tried to burn down kings”
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