the greek hero and lesser known brother of achilles. son of thetis and peleus, he was untouchable in war and defeated untold numbers of warriors and heroes.

he was undefeated in battle, but fell and was slain at an after-battle-party when a stray (unknowingly enchanted) stone, launched from the sling of a child playing a game called ‘catapult’ struck a distracted t-st-cl-se while he was chugging wine in a contest. he fell to his knees, coughing and spurting wine from his mouth, and then curled up into the fetal position in which he expired due to the enchanted qualities of the unusual stone.

henceforth, as it was known through his brother achilles’ experience what a principle weakness a person’s achilles tendon is, it was known that being hit in the nuts is a principle weakness of men; because that sh-t f-cking hurts.
your friend: “dude, that guy ted was definitely winning that fight until that p-ssy frank kicked him in the nuts. then frank just beat the sh-t out of him as ted crinkled to the floor. what a cheap shot that was from frank. reminds you of when that greek hero t-st-cl-se was killed by that stone to the nuts right?”

your answer: “right!”
the ancient greek philosopher who invented bathroom humor
one of the many greek philosophers of old, like socrates, t-st-cl-se was the inventor of bathroom humor.
like t-st-cl-s but … cooler to say.
“suck my t-st-cl-se, b-tch!!!”
a philosopher of sorts dating to the era of plato and aristotle. although he was ahead of his time, he has been regarded as a ground-breaker in the history of modern thought. throughout the early days of historical philosophy he traveled from city state to city state bringing the word of his chast-ty to all the greco-roman world.
“he who chastises thineself prosers”-t-st-cl-se
t-st-cl-ses , was a greek god and hero to many, but awesome to all.
in fact he was so awesome he once found nemo and saved the little b-tch from drowning in a matter of 2 weeks. his family included his mother, athena, his father, jason bourne, his brother, god, his sister, cthulu, and his wife, that chicken from the garden of eden, and his two sons, randy orton, and the trix rabbit, and finally his pet rhinoceros, billy.
in legend it is said that whoever p-ssed t-st-cl-ses off would face the rath of billy’s horn, in simplified terms you’do get -ss raped by a rhino’s horn.
t-st-cl-s lived a long live but was murdered by his son randy orton, he taught randy the rko but randy used it against him in wwe raw because why the h-ll not?
he saved nemo, dory, he fixed the mad hatter, and kicked many c-ck juggling thunder c-nt’s b-lls. that’s about it.
t-st-cl-ses is the greek god of t-st-cl-s

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