Tewksbury


tewksbury, also known as t-bury or the dirty bury is a sh-tty suburb just outside of boston.tewksbury is known as one of the biggest drug towns in all of the lowell area. tewksbury is almost completely white people. the largest ethnic group in tewksbury is the irish followed by the italians. it is within 15 minutes of some of the largest citys in new england, boston, lowell ma, lawrence ma, and nashua nh. gang members are mostly kids who have moved to tewksbury from the city. as there is a growing amount of people moving to tewksbury from the ghettos of lowell and boston. gangs present in tewksbury are the tiny raskal gang (trg), brown mafia, multiple skinhead gangs, and of course the most notorious gang south side demons (ssd) they claim south tewksbury as their turf. tewksbury is a fast growing city of just over 31,000. the only nice section of tewksbury is up at the tip of north tewksbury. tewksbury kids will often be smoking pot in a parking lot or behind an abandoned building, jumping other kids at livingston, breaking into cars, or buying weapons from dealers around town. the motel caswell in tewksbury is presently under investigation and is being shut down by the federal government due to 35 police reported drug and 15 prost-tution crimes occuring there in the past 3 years and a working meth lab discovered in 2007 there. all of tewksbury is a dump and id advise not to move there or even p-ss through there
on april 11, 2010 there was a gang related shooting outside the ihop restaurant in tewksbury’s wamesit section.
a small suburb about 30 minutes from boston.by far the gayest city in m-ssachusetts. tewksbury borders lowell, billerica, andover, and wilmington.market basket is the only grocery store. the only schools here are sh-tty ones and arent acreddited. the town wastes its money on pointless things like watering a feild where nothing grows and building a humungous senior center. there are dunkin donuts pretty much on every street. the number of dance studios is ridiculous. if you are a teenager in tewksbury, you are either a pothead, a wigger, or a prep. tewksbury is also referred to as “t-bury”. our streets are under construction everyday. no streets are paved. the only establishments in this town are restaurants.plan on entertaining yourself. i would give a longer defenition if this town was slightly interesting.
a few things you may hear in tewksbury:

-i went to mahket basket next to lowell yestahday and saw lindah from dunkin dohnuts.

-whens the next town meeting?

-i cant buhleev im wastin’ my tax dollahs.

-when are they gonna put sourage in our paht of town?

a sh-tty town in m-ssachusetts. the people constantly fill up the churches, newspapers, and stores of other towns such as wilmington with their filthy selves. most citizens grow up to be criminals or give birth before high school graduation and live in sh-tty houses in tewksbury.

since real estate is so high in m-ssachusetts, a 1 floor, 1 toilet, 4 wall house in tewksbury costs at least 350k even though its not good enough for a homeless man.

if you ever get a bl-wj-b from someone in tewksbury, make sure to c-m in their face and eyes and then slap and knee them repeatedly. but beware of stds..you are bound to catch one from a tewksbury resident.

beware of thugs and wiggers too.
joe: wow, i wish a tornado would sweep through and kill everyone here.

steve: hey did you read the paper this morning?
bob: no, its filled with all tewksbury news anyway.
steve: i know, i couldn’t even read about the big town fair next week since more than 5 kids in tewksbury graduated high school this year.

harry: if there is ever a poison gas leak that infects the air, lets hope it hits tewksbury.
when someone does something that is so sad and r-t-rded that you lose all hope for humanity.

it can also be a bad attempt at appearing tough or intimidating.
guy 1 – “someone called me last night as restricted, called me a p-ssy, giggled then hung up.

guy 2 – “that’s pretty tewksbury.”

guy 1 – “looks like mike is wearing his black beater again to the gym.”

gym 2 – “i’m sick of all the tewksbury this guy tries to pull.”
very wealthy town in hunterdon county, nj. has a very small village area at “oldwick”. very quaint and rural. james gandolfini (tony soprano) just bought a house here in the past year. 87% white, but of course all the indians and east asians will change that fast as they are continuing their onslought into many of the historical colonial 200 – 300 year old towns in nj. nonetheless, this town is a very ideal place to live with outstanding schools. very similiar to pound ridge, ny.
resident 1: yo i heard tony soprano just moved to tewksbury with his asian wife.

resident 2: yeah, he wants a more private town to live in as he values his solitude as his asian geisha doesn’t give him any back talk like dem’ loud mouthed american ho’s.

resident 1: i think you just told way more than i wanted to hear. no relax and let’s hot box some chronic blaze in my new beemer, my daddy just bought me.

resident 2, 30 minutes later: ” i think i’m kung fu fighting” du da du da du da doot doot fighting”
a small town in northern m-ssachusetts where people from lowell come to buy groceries. seriously. have you been to the meat department at the market basket in lowell recently, with their expire-next-day meat? it’s f-cking horrifying.
tewksbury is also the headquarters of market basket’s owners, which is probably why their meat department doesn’t suck quite so much.
a mystical land of adventure. usually referred to the slaying of dragons, or capturing of mythical faries. generally relates to the story of sir adam rescuing princess emily from the puerto ricans and firecrotches and broken-handed football players. it is a deepy saddenging and enlightening tale.
sup tewksbury.

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