the coffey handshake
the act of placing one’s -n-s on their partners nose and sh-tting furiously onto their face. this became a common act in ireland in 1916, when irish wives would sh-t on their partners face before they fought the british. a coffey handshake is most commonly used nowadays to make sure a partner doesn’t cheat on another partner.
as the morning dew settled bonny sat her greasy -sshole on top of frankie’s pointy nose. she then began to release a flurry of sh-t onto frankie’s face and into his nostrils. this was the coffey handshake, so frankie wouldn’t f-ck that thot , roisin at work.
“my wife gave me the coffey handshake the other night”
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