The Dead Weather
a blues/rock group consisting of allison mosshart, jack white, jack lawrence, and dean fert-ta. one of very few bands still worth listening to. an unequivocal personification of rock and roll as well as indescribable bad -ss-ness.
hipster: “how do you like the new arcade fire alb-m?”
rocker: “i don’t know… i can’t stop listening to sea of cowards by the dead weather, you ignorant sl-t”.
jack white’s latest side project, also known as “jack white’s inevitable next cash in project”. although a semi-p-ssable alb-m, jack white’s “solos”, which have been reduced to short bursts of fuzz-distortion instead of actual music, make the entire alb-m unlistenable, as upon hearing a single decibel, the listener will be thrown into an uncontrollable psychotic fit of utter fury.
jack white: i fancy making several more million dollars. hey you! yes, you over there in the tw-tty gothic dress! come and record a half–rs-d, whiny, poorly produced array of songs, call it an alb-m, and sell it as “the dead weather”!
random singer: er… ok!
jack white: thaaaaats right… it’s got my name on it, so it’ll sell millions regardless of whether it’s good or not!
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