the flash
only the fastest character alive, superman may have super sonic speed. but the flash has light speed. superman couldn’t even touch him when they raced.
the flash: i’m suprised you could even see me.
superman: well, i’m suprised you could run as fast as me backwards and run on water
when you go to a club, get drunk, and leave with a woman, not knowing she is hideous. you then return to her apartment, and you sober up before you are about to have s-x. though you realize she is unattractive, you still f-ck her. you then proceed to bust your nut quickly, somewhere between five or ten minutes. once you nut, you immediately pull out, grab your clothes, and bolt out of her house. just as the flash would do.
dude 1: “bro what happened to you last night? you left with some ugly chick.”
dude 2: “i know man. lets just say i was the flash last night. i got to her house at around 1:00 and was home at 1:09.”
a man on methanphetamines masquerading as a superhero.
jeff: what about the flash?
peanut: he doesn’t have any powers, he’s on meth!
the worst comic book character ever. his only superpower is that he’s fast and he lost a race to superman, so he’s really good for nothing.
the flash: look at me! i’m fast!
jessie owens: you’re not even faster than me. shut up.
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