The French Press
the french press originated in normandy, france and was popular among existensialist figures such as camus and sartre.
the s-xual act, found to be highly pleasurable, begins with -n-l intercourse between a man and another biotic being, whether it be a man, woman, child or goat –any creature with an -n-s will do.
after the creature has taken a strong laxative (nat-lax tnt will do), the “pitcher” will f-ck the “catcher” thouroghly in the -ss until his urethra is fully packed with diarrhea. he then pulls out his c-ck and allows for the sh-t to harden in his urethra (this process can be accelerated by the use of a hair dryer). the partner proceeds to give him a gentle yet firm hand job, being sure to collect all the hardened sh-t as it is pressed out of the c-ck. finally, the weiner p–p (see: scrotie mcboogerb-lls) is ground in a coffee grinder to a fine consistency and brewed, similar to a dark, rich french roast.
suggested serving techniques include adding one tablespoon of cream or milk and a pinch of sugar. the resulting drink is then shared by all parties, often popular in bear-orgies where the tonic serves as a mild aphrodisiac.
no, me and the mrs. employed the french press last night and brewed some -sspresso. would you like one cream or two?
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