the Human Mountain
the human mountain is an attention wh-r- who walks around with a blind cane even though her vision is fine. her stick is actually used as a weapon, as she tends to hit people in the back of the shins if they are not moving fast enough for her. it is also a warning as to where her gravitational pull begins.
the human mountain, also known as hanna, has a tendency to absorb smaller people (ie everyone) into her body to obtain her nutrition. her favourite hunting strategy is to trap smaller people in her gravitational force field and save them as snacks for later. she believes the fear they experience while trapped makes them taste better.
the human mountain is a rude, selfish, loner b-tch and should be avoided at all costs. once she deems you as a ‘friend’ (though you could only be acting nice to her to avoid being eaten) she will leech onto you forever and even resort to forcing school administration to act as counselors if you try to avoid being friends with her.
1) the human mountain’s house used to be three levels. now it is only one level, but with two bas-m-nts!
2) “where’s jimmy been lately?”
“didn’t you hear? the human mountain got him.”
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