The Lakner
the lakner is believed to be an ancient creature that takes the form of a human being or vice versa. dating back to 900 b.c. there has been evidence of a creature approximately 15 feet tall with blue/gray fur, and has a human like stature. he has very long strong arms with two four fingered hands. each finger has 4 inch claws that can cut through almost any known solid matter. his legs are very long and may be his most powerful -sset, capable of reaching speeds upwards 85 mph and jumping up to 40 feet in the air and crossing a distance of 300 yards with a single leap. crossing the path of the lakner is almost always fatal. it is believed by historians and biblical scholars that the lakner was the one that ate apple off of the tree of knowledge. there is no known way to kill or destroy the lakner. there have been numerous sightings of the lakner, the most recent was back in 2011 when a truck driver reported that he saw a creature between 10 feet and 15 feet tall with dark fur and glowing yellow eyes. it was said that the creature was chasing down a white sedan and then apparently leaped onto the vehicle, punched a hole in the roof and then proceeded to decapitate the p-ssenger. the vehicle then drove into a ditch. when authorities arrived they found the car completely destroyed, with claw and bite marks all over the body and interior of the car, but the most disturbing thing they found was the that the bodies in the vehicle were completely torn to shreds.
“holy f-cking sh-t that wasn’t a werewolf, that was a lakner!”
“sweet mother of billy mayes that thing killed jimmy, i think it was the lakner!”
“i can’t believe i’m being mauled by a lakner, i mean really what are the odds?”
Read Also:
- The Low Four
sh-tty “nasty’ g jev “pops” gooch stuck “llama” final noo “1/4” indrustries sh-tty “nasty’ g: sittin here geerkin it jev “pops” gooch: alright stuck “llama” final: she has nice fawkin hair noo “1/4” production: sh-t i dont even know any more the low four: we actually smell bad as fawk.
- the loyal divide
the loyal divide is the greatest band possibly of all time. the group is comprised of former students from the miami university of ohio which might have something to do with why they are so cool, but does nothing to explain why their music sounds so good. “the loyal divide should probably do a show […]
- The Main Board
the main board is the most deluded place on the whole of the innernet, making it extremely amusing for both saints fans and the rest of the world alike. the main board consists of typical fred such as the one below! poster 1: i heard paul allen is coming to saints poster 2: hcdajfu poster […]
- The Patient
the character that the my chemical romance alb-m the black parade is centered around. he is battling a disease and when he dies, death comes to him in the form of a parade of people in black marching band outfits. this concept is based off of gerard way’s belief that death comes to you in […]
- The Plastic Addict
a hilarious set of videos on youtube showcasing only the worst and most inappropriate transformers toys, hosted by tj omega. this has been the plastic addict. i stay addicted so you can stay away.