The Laws of Hipsterism
1) one’s goal shalt always be in contradiction with one’s actions (the irony law). the is the foundation of all ye hipsterism, and the law that binds all other laws.
2) nothing shalt be practical, a hipster shalt do everything for appearances.
2) finally, a hipster shalt never claim to be a hipster.
ye application of the laws of hipsterism:
#1
normal person: hey you want to go shopping with me?
hipster female: no, i don’t care about how i look.
(hipster female shalt then traverse to ye olde thrift store where thou shalt spend one full half day looking for garments)
#2
normal person: hey! i like this artist. their music is good!!
(thou buys/downloads alb-m to listen to)
hipster guy: -no inner monologue, for hipsters do not think consciously for themselves.
(thou buys vinyl to show ye others that thou purchases vinyls.)
#3
hipster one: i hate hipsters.
hipster two: me too! g-d! i’m going to write an entry in olde english and send it into urban dictionary that professes my hate for hipsters!!
hipster one: right on dude!! hey you want to go to the thrift store afterwords to go buy records?
hipster two: sorry man, but i can’t i’ll be pretty busy writing that entry and my fixed gear bike’s in the shop right now.
hipster one: it’s cool dude…i…i love you.
hipster two: i…i love you too.
________________________________________________
these are the rules to be spread far above the sky and across the land: forever and earnestly, un-ironically and for the good of mankind!!!
Read Also:
- The Lon
when a s-xual partner sticks your own finger(s) in your own -sshole, against your will, during s-x; generally occurs in the ‘doggy style’ position. also known as lonned and lonning. “we we’re getting it on in the car last night when he flipped me over and gave me ‘the lon’.”
- billeniums
too long of a time to even be described; too d-mn long; billeniums i haven’s hung out with my buddy in billeniums too long a time to describe with numbers i haven’t hung out with my friend in billeniums!
- kamelia
a super hot, super liberal, persian girl. she is also has wonderful grammer and stuff like that, and corrects people’s english, but everyone still loves her cuz she’s awsome. oh, and, she’s the hottest person in existence. kamelia is so hot and lovable, that even when she’s crying, upset, and talking about something serious, people […]
- Kambrai
the act of eating out the -sshole of a large cow. hey emily! bend over so i can kambrai your -sshole!
- Ables
a legendary name given to the man who fought alongside abraham lincoln during the battle of little big horn. it is said that a man carrying this name would have only one known weakness, triceps. when approached by an “ables” try not to look him in the eyes he has been known to steal souls. […]