The Metcalf
the act of scheduling, committing to, or agreeing to be physically present at an engagement, meeting, party, event, get-together, sailboat ride, dinner, drinks with friends, vacation, or excursion, and without further communication, not attend. once the act has been initiated, phones calls and text messages will not be returned until the morning of the following day, typically accompanied with a very elaborate and seemingly reasonable justification for the act. this act is typically initiated by the one performing the such act.
jim calls gary and phil. jim invites them to go watch the big game at the neighborhood tavern that night. gary and phil are happy and excited with this invite. they both agree and re-schedule their evenings accordingly, often times upsetting the family schedule to be able to attend. there is talk throughout the day confirming time and other details of what the night may bring. as the scheduled time approaches jim stops answering his phone and texts, almost as though he doesn’t exist. jim never arrives. in the morning, when asked why jim didn’t show up or call, he replies that he couldn’t leave his house because his dog chewed through the cord to the freezer and electrocuted himself, his cell battery died, and his daughter dropped the house phone in the toilet. jim has successfully and cleanly performed the metcalf.
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