The Pizzler
a theoretical super villain that can control male genitalia at will. some known applications of the pizzler’s powers include: forcing any pizzle to attain an erection, causing any pizzle to attain an -rg-sm, altering the size, shape, and consistency of any pizzle, pizzle explosion, and altering any part of his body into a prehensile pizzle or pizzles.
females are known to be the pizzler’s greatest weakness, as his powers can not affect them directly. additionally, attractive females may cause the pizzler to lose control of any part of his body that has taken the form of a pizzle.
the origins of the pizzler are unknown, though experts speculate that he evolved from a combination of mutagen, nanomachines, and j-panese tentacle p-rn. the pizzler’s name originates from the superhero “the dazzler” from the popular comic book series the x-men.
it should be noted that term “pizzle” when used in reference to the pizzler denotes any male phallus, not simply a bull’s p-n-s as the term is most often used. the reason for this is most likely because the word pizzle is inherently funny, and considered less vulgar than the word p-n-s, enabling greater use in general speech and public places.
i’ll get you some day the pizzler! (unknown superhero)
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