The potato theory

the potato theory is the theory stating that: “a potato cannot be created or deystroyed, only transfered from one -n-s to another” this theory was first put into practice by my physics teacher, in a lesson that involved his wife, a potato, a ping pong paddle, and a un-prepared -n-s, needless to say it was a fun lesson. potato theory can also be applied to time and sp-ce, for sp-ce, this theory enables the users potato to travel to faster than light speeds, inorder for this theory to be put into practice, exactly 2 grammes of mashed potatoes, and exactly 2 grammes of roast potatoes, then these items must be applied to the potato in a very delicate order; mash, roast, roast, mash, mash, mash, roast, mash. then place the potato into your -n-s and point it in the direction of your choosing. in order to apply this theory to time, is you need exactly 3 grammes of chips, and exactly 3 grammes of roast potatoes, the combined oils from the two potatoic foods, create a time feild, then as in the warp theory, you must place it inside of your -n-s and you will travel in time
the potato theory can also be applied to time and sp-ce, for sp-ce, this theory enables the users potato to travel to faster than light speeds, inorder for this theory to be put into practice, exactly 2 grammes of mashed potatoes, and exactly 2 grammes of roast potatoes, then these items must be applied to the potato in a very delicate order; mash, roast, roast, mash, mash, mash, roast, mash. then place the potato into your -n-s and point it in the direction of your choosing. in order to apply this theory to time, is you need exactly 3 grammes of chips, and exactly 3 grammes of roast potatoes, the combined oils from the two potatoic foods, create a time feild, then as in the warp theory, you must place it inside of your -n-s and you will travel in time
the potato theory continued…
this can be considered when you use the raw juices from cooked potatoes to transfer the mystical energies of the potato into the sp-ce time continuum. in short, the juices of the potato rips a hole in the fabric of sp-ce-time thus enabling stuff, such as time travel, faster than light travel, multiversal travel and dimensions which are larger than the sp-ce they occupy.

this concept was first mastered by the brilliant mind of dr n morgan, whom thought of the idea whilst in the lessons of mr mcginty. accompanied by his brilliant collogue dr r lloyd , whilst making a potato go at warp speed.
two prime examples of “the potato theory”
an example would be, if you get a potato and pour the juices of said cooked potato onto an object and threw it, the speed would increase expectationally until reaching warp speed, in essence you would have an object moving faster than light speed.

another example would be to pour potato juices into the -n-s to provide a sp-ce which although occupies a small area ie the inside of the -n-s, it makes it larger in form, allowing you to hold bags of potatoes inside of your -n-s to carry more than your own load, so to speak. this was mastered by a mr mcginty whom places potatoes aswell as other scientific objects into his r-ct-m for science.