The Shitis


the gastrointestinal distress felt as a consequence of eating at the cultural phenomenon known as denny’s. a combination of the itis and the sh-ts, sh-tis takes effect the instant the denny’s waitress brings your check. early symptoms include nausea, bloating, lethargy and a sense of extreme drowsiness.

in the later stages, those affected will experience bloating, smelly gas, and explosive greasy leakage from the -n-s, too horrible to be considered an average case of diarrhea.

the only effective treatment for the sh-tis is to build up a tolerance for food considered unsafe for human consumption. this can be accomplished by regularly consuming fried cheese melts at denny’s topped with bacon, and a side of fries.
i was about to get some after taking my girl out to denny’s, but i developed the sh-tis during foreplay and made a mess. at least it was in her bed and not mine.
pr-nounced “shy-tiss”

it’s a combination of having the sh-ts and the itis. you go out, eat big meal from a questionable buffet and spend the rest of the day either cr-pping your pants or falling asleep, or worse, both simultaneously.
gary: hey pete, you ain’t looking good.

pete: ug, i ate at number 1 super indian buffet for lunch. now i got the sh-tis.

gary: the what?

pete: the sh-tis. i keep falling asleep whenever i’m not p–ping my brains out.

gary: sh-tty.

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