The William

the check the food server brings you at the end of a meal
“are you guys finished”?

“yes bring us the william”.
slang for bills. bill is a nickname for william. first heard in nicolay & superst-tion’s “the williams”
“but i’ve got bills, problems, all in my way. what more can i say? i’ve got the williams.”
in the year 952 a.d. a group of norwegian vikings were exploring a large cavern in a mountain named “mount williams.” after the vikings were about to leave the cave the entrance collapsed and they were trapped. after they were trapped they ran low on supplies and in order to survive they had to eat each other’s scalps, hair, and weird fungus growing between their feet. eventually they became as skinny as toothpicks and then through lack of sunlight they became very pale much so as the paleness of a vampire’s skin. in order to acquire the fungi growing between their toes they had to lift their arms up like a tyrannosaurus rex and claw at their toes. eventually the transformation into a williams was complete. the williams claws had grown by five inches, and they sprouted wings. when they sprouted wings they were able to fly through the hole in the mountain and eventually they went southward and terrorized many african villages and then challenged the vampire’s territory of transylvania and after they killed off all the vampires and dragons in the world. they also went hunting for the lochness monster and during their hunt gained the ability to breathe underwater and after the lochness monster was killed they used its skull as a p-ss pot. when the williams became to widespread a middle eastern clan named “sarkosh” went hunting for the williams, and eventually killed most of them off.
1. “a savage williams broke into my house today and took a dump on my pillow.”

2. mother: “how was your day at school?”
son: “i got my scalp bit off by a williams.”

3. a roman: “it’s the williams in the sky!!”
many williams: “neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”