three-inch fool

shakespearean term for a man with a short p-n-s. esp. applied to the stereotypical ‘underendowed idiot’, who acts stupid in order to trivialise (& hence come to terms with) his embar-ssing s-x organ. the term alludes to the psychological tendency of short-p-n-sed (& indeed short-statured) men to become jokers & jesters of the moment. humour serves as a convenient cover to gloss over their shortcomings.

further, such males often exploit self-deprecating small p-n-s jokes in order pre-empt harsher criticism from others. simultaneously, they typically seek to induce feelings of comp-ssion in their listeners, esp. in members of the feminine gender.

thus, as paros notes, the ‘pathetic prawnd-ck’ is an extremely common phenomenon: “in our world, however, it’s the three-inch fool … who clearly is the rule.” (‘the erotic tongue: a s-xual lexicon’ lawrence paros, seattle: madrona publishers, 1984, np)

meanwhile, partridge observes: “three-inch fool. a short-p-n-s’d man. `curtis. away, you three inch fool! i am no beast. – grumio. am i but three inches? why, thy horn is a foot; and so long am i at the least’. the taming, iv i.25-27. opposed to this slighting reference is the old folklore proverb – not to be found in the dictionaries of proverbs! – ‘short and thick does the trick’.” – ‘shakespeare’s bawdy’ eric partridge. 4 ed. london: routledge, 2001, p 260.
1) “three-inch fool. a shakespearean term for a man with a short p-n-s, as in the taming of the shrew (iv, 1, lines 25-27); “curtis: away, you three-inch fool! grumio: am i but three inches? why, thy horn is a foot, & so long am i at the least.” – ‘the language of s-x from a to z’ robert m goldenson & kenneth anderson. ny: world almanac, 1986, p 284

2) “of the euphemisms we uncovered for a man less favored by nature (hung like a chicken, pencil-d-ck & bug-f-cker), we can only recommend under-endowed & three-inch fool … ” – ‘very nice ways to say very bad things: an unusual book of euphemisms’ linda berdoll. ill ed. naperville, ill.: sourcebooks, 2007, p 15

3) “26 so … least, ie i/my p-n-s must be at least as long to have made you a cuckold (picking up on the three-inch insult).” – ‘the taming of the shrew’ eds jonathan bate, eric rasmussen. basingstoke: palgrave macmillan, 2010, p 72

4) “grumio may call himself a ‘little pot’ but he resents curtis’ mentioning his size, esp. the size of his p-n-s; so he retaliates (1) that curtis’s horn (c;p) is only one third of a yard (p-n-s – oed; see foot, lll, for the same jest); (2) that it is his horn of cuckoldry, that is the long one.” – ‘a dict. of shakespeare’s s-xual puns & their significance’ frankie rubinstein. 2 ed. basingstoke: palgr. macmillan, 1995, p 132

5) “three-inch fool. tsh iv.i.23. fool with a three-inch p-n-s.” – ‘the dramatic use of bawdy in shakespeare’ ernest a m colman. london: longman, 1974, p 219