Tiny Dick Syndrome

a man who obviously wants everyone he meets to immediately think he has a very large p-n-s. this is because he is very poorly endowed and lacks any shred of self confidence.
a man suffering from tiny d-ck syndrome (also called tds) will take his shirt off at the slightest excuse, walk with his biceps flexed at all times, wear sungl-sses inside, and brag about how many women he’s supposedly slept with at every opportunity. he also drives a very large truck and will gravitate towards anything that will outwardly increase his status while leaving him inwardly an empty husk of a man (with a tiny p-n-s). you will find victims of tds pretending to have fun at frat parties, having loud conversations with their friends in public, and weeping over their wasted lives when they’ve had too much to drink. the slightest insult will either shatter their false confidence and leave them a whimpering wreck, or send them into a rage of overcompensation that ends with them challenging everyone in the room to some sort of contest.
tiny d-ck syndrome, more commonly know as tds, is a disease afflicting thousands of male adolescents and adults each year. though the main symptom of this horrible disease is an abnormally small p-n-s, it can also be characterized through excessive p-ss-ness, such as an extreme amount of whining or lacking any masculine characteristics. if you witness one or more of these other symptoms, it is very likely that you may have contracted tds: lack of will to go out on friday and sat-rday nights, going to bed early when your friends are engaging in fun activities, drinking less than 4 alcoholic drinks on a friday night, or playing the flute for your university’s band.
jeremy: ben, i’m afraid our patient, trevor, has one of the worst cases of tiny d-ck syndrome i’ve ever seen.
ben: get him 6 shots of vlad, stat!