toilet pong

toilet pong is a sport played exclusively in the bathroom of a specific suite known as the bordello at yale college. the game itself was created by two freshmen at yale college during the spring semester. it can be played with any number of players, in a singles, doubles, or even team format. it requires an immense amount of concentration and hand-eye coordination and has been likened to pool, and table tennis. rumor has it that it may be featured in the 2008 olympic games in london. this is unconfirmed and highly unlikely at this point. but it may not be far off in the future as the sport has received wide acclaim and is immensely popular even in its infancy.

each player must take turns standing from the edge of the bathroom and tossing a ping pong ball in whatever fashion they wish through the bathroom and into the toilet while the door is closed. the ball may ricochet off of any objects any number of times. in regards to defence, the defender must stand and watch the ball toss for his opponent’s first two attempts on his/her turn. for the third attempt, the defender may use any object in the bathroom to deflect the ball and obstruct its path into the toilet. but he/she cannot use the same object consecutively. each player alternates after having made three attempts at scoring. there is no time limit, and players must alternate forever until one scores, this rule must be adhered to regardless of cl-sses, extracurricular activities, or armageddon.

if the player to shoot first scores, his/her opponent must be given the opportunity to score back. once a player has won the game, the other player must then place his/her hands at the bottom of the toilet seat and retrieve the ball while the toilet is flushed. the winner must stand and laugh, while the spectators bounce around like fools chanting “ewwwwww” and “awwwwww.” stakes may be raised or lowered as long as all compet-tors agree unanimously, unless a certain brit in the suite next door asks for someone to defecate in the toilet to raise the stakes. that’s just unsanitary.

there is some controversy as to who was the original creator of the game, however, both students who make the claim to creation were involved in it’s inception.

critics also argue against the unsanitary nature of the game. as of yet, the creators or players have not presented any argument in their defence. they acknowledge it is extremely unsanitary, and attest that if such critics were real men, they’d play them in a match.
“dude, let’s settle this over a game of toilet pong.”