Topical Wank
pastime carried out by females or males of the general public and or celebrities. the act of masturbation by a man or a woman thinking of a subject or persons being “topical”/ current i.e. in the news and or media at the time of the masturbation/w-nk act.
during the wimbledon tennis tournament (2week period), if w-nking in the morning, one might say:
“i woke up this morning and had a topical w-nk whilst thinking of serena williams nailing tsvetana pironkova with a strap on c-ck in a lesbian love fest.
“i bashed one out last night during the news to that russian spy anna chapman. it was a deeply satisfying topical w-nk”.
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