Topman Whore
a stupid naïve manwh-r- who has just discovered fashion and has longish sh-ggy hair, wear an over sized beanie that looks like a giant’s scr-t-m warmer, cardigan, perhaps a multicoloured if they are feeling a bit daring; stretched across their skinny chests are the 16 pound t-shirts with multicoloured prints, legs are covered with some spray-on jeans and to finish it all off, some pointy plimsolls, which appear to be the latest topman -rg-sm.
peeping inbetween the plimsolls and skinny jeans are colourful socks, with childish designs on them that cost the f-cking earth.
their jeans are pulled so low so that we are able to “admire” their topman boxers and all can see. some topman wh-r-s even bend down to flaunt their boxers. oh so pathetic.
to keep warm, the average topman wh-r- wears one of the 20 pound hoodies topman offers in a selection of colours with pretty designs in the hood. of course, every topman wh-r- has every colour and so topman wh-r-s have to check with their topman wh-r- companions as to which colour they should wear that day, as not to appear unoriginal.
-2 friends browsing in topman-
friend a: oh wow, these are actually reasonably priced! that’s a first for topman.
friend b: hm these colours look pretty good together.
friend a: f-ck it, i’ll get 2 and save the rest of my money.
-looks for medium-
friend a: wtf they are all l, xl or xxl?!! where are the other sizes?
friend b: looks like the topman wh-r-s got there before.
-both friends turn round and give evils at the topman wh-r-s at the entrance, identically dressed-
both: grrr
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