Touched cloth
to have your sh-t touch your pants.
ryan: oh dear josh, i have shat myself and i think that the poo has stained my lovely new y-fronts from m&s.
josh: you mean you have touched cloth?
ryan: yes i shouldn’t eat sh-t from public toilets.
to touch cloth is to have one’s poo-poo touch your underpants and leave a stain. it it’s slightly more high brow than just to say “ugh i shat my boxers blud.”
ryan: oh no i can feel my poo touching my lovely new y-front for the charity bin.
josh: my word man you’ve touched cloth.
ryan: -slaps face- oh my god
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