touching cloth

when the turtle head of ones faeces pretudes to the extent that it touches the cloth which comprises ones underwear. a crude expression with a mighty impact.
-“i am ever so glad i wore baggy boxer shorts today”.
-“really egbert why is that”.
-well humbert to be quite frank i am touching cloth.
-oh you are desperate to empty your bowels and are finding it hard to keep the turtles head under reigns.
-quite, and now i am afraid the turtles head has broken through my -n-l gates and is causing one great discomfort.
-i see, well it is lucky you are wearing sp-cious boxer shorts for if you were wearing y fronts the turtle may have been crushed resulting in a mess in ones pants.
-never mind i am starting to quite enjoy the sensation it is similar to when you insert your p-n-s through my cheeks to the brown.
-oh well i dont know why you are complaining in that case it would be more like a terrapin head as my p-n-s is terribly small due to the inbred nature of my family.
-dont beat yourself up you make up for it with your 11 fingers.
a saying that is used when someone has waited far too long to have a sh-t. it
verbalises the possible condition that the lead end of a sh-t has protruded beyond the opening of the -n-s and has made contact with their undergarment.
i need to find a bathroom right now.. i’m touching cloth
when the prairrie dog pops it head out of the burrow and is almost headb-tting the undergarments.the time immediately preceeding the arrival of a brown trout
f-ck i’m touching cloth.we’d better find a toilet soon or i’ll lay a nest of dogs eggs in my f-cking strides
when you are struggling to hold in a poo, and its tip has breached the sphincter and is touching your underwear.
dude, i’ve gotta get to a toilet quick, i’m touching cloth here!
when the head of your brown trout is appearing unbidden on-deck. when the nose of the turtle’s head is beginning to rub on the undergarments you are currently wearing.
i’m sorry your majesty, i may have to leave abruptly as i’m touching cloth…
when you’re about to drop a deuce and your struggling to hold it in, the tip or your sh-t-log pokes out and touches the fabric of your undergarment.
matt- i’m busting for a sh-t so bad i’m touching cloth. can i cut in front of you for the stall?

joe- yeah, but only if i can poke it back in with my c-ck?

matt- deal!
when you have to p–p really bad and you can barely hold it in. so bad the p–p is touching your underwear or is close to it.
you: man do i have to take a dump really bad. i don’t think i can hold it in.
me: are you “touching cloth”? ewwwww

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