toxic megacolon
acute dilation of the colon, seen in ulcerative colitis.
“you’ve got toxic megacolon, -ssface!!”
a form of diarrhea caused by bacteria clostridium difficil, that lives in p–p.
aaron can’t go out tonight. he’s got toxic mega-colon.
the most dominant roto baseball team ever -ssembled, without collusion, via skilled drafting, shrewd trades, and timely waiver acquisitions. the team took the lead in its 12 team league in mid-april and never looked back, finishing a dominating 20.5 points ahead of the runner-up. its murderous batting lineup finished 1st in 5 of 6 offensive categories (r, hr, rbi, avg, ops) and 2nd in steals. its dominant pitchers carried the team to 1st in era and whip, 2nd in saves and holds, and 5th in wins and k’s. the indomitable lineup, in its optimal form, was as follows:
c: brian mccann, atl
1b: albert pujols, stl
2b: chase utley, phi
3b: aramis ramirez, chc
ss: jose reyes, nym
of: lance berkman, hou
of: carlos lee, tex
of: matt holiday, col
ut: troy glaus, tor
bench: hideki matsui, nyy; jason varitek, bos; corey patterson, bal; kevin youkilis, bos; juan rivera laa
sp: roy halladay, tor
sp: andy pett-tte, hou
sp: jered weaver, laa
rp: bj ryan, tor
rp: akinori otsuka, tex
rp: tom gordon, phi
p: todd jones, det
p: joel zumaya, det
p: john lackey, laa
bench: esteban loaiza, jon lester, mike stanton
carlos lee was acquired in june for pat burrell and ken griffey jr. to solidify and streamline the lineup.
ladies and gentlemen, the greatest roto team of all time!!! wooooo!!
man, there is no way we can compete with the toxic megacolons. that team is a juggernaut!
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