tube envy
a viral disorder, usually among men, that causes obsession with someone else’s television. characterized by longing for the latest technology, tube envy can cause unplanned visits to appliance stores, resulting in custom home theatre installation and unexplained jock itch. while spreading slowly, this disorder can propagate through entire subdivisions in one football season. an unexpected side effect is increased discussion of oprah brought on by the female. there is no cure, but purchase avoidance begins with vigorous outdoor exercise.
caught the tigers game at aaron’s — that 40-inch screen gave me a case of tube envy. see you at the mall.
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