Tubophobia


a burst of anxiety experienced by an infrequent underground traveller coming out of a tube station to visit a resident friend. tubophobia comes as a consequence of invasion of private sp-ce on the tube, usually caused by a m-ssive influx of football or rugby fans, partygoers or money beggars at major stations.

reduction of private sp-ce is often intensified by focused yet hazy staring, vocal but unarticulated utterance of words, intended but missed body touching due to impaired sense of balance.

tubophobia can affect both s-xes and is usually overcome in 10 minutes after exiting the tube station.
friend: ‘omg, i am completely shocked by all those people that invaded the train at kings cross!’
me: ‘what do you mean, did somebody har-ss you?’
friend: ‘no, it just felt so weird because the train suddenly got packed with people.’
me: ‘c’mon, relax and start enjoying your night out. you will agonize over tubophobia on your way back.

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