turbo cups

a relay-style drinking game originating in the midwest (possibly northern iowa) with characteristics similar to popular, collegiate douche-bag fest of flip cups.

typical play is initiated by dividing into teams with similar numbers, talent and interest; lining up the teams on opposite sides of table or other playing surface (rounded edges are considered anathema; a surface with a straight, sharp edge is preferred for the angle and balance of the cup); filling each regulation solo cup (the tall, narrow ones with a good base and hopefully red) to the bottom line (~3oz. of beer); talking sh-t about the person opposite you not being able to drink as quickly as you or not being able to perform s-xually, preferring animals as partners, etc.

the round commences with the team captains (or persons at one end of the table) performing a “cheers, bam, slam” by touching cups in the air, touching cups to the table, touching beer to their throat. once the beer has been liberated from the cup, the person must set the mouth of the cup onto the edge of the table and flip the cup at least 360 degrees (back onto its mouth or at a rotation point beyond the mouth) and land the cup standing upright (or downright) on the table so that it “sticks.” (think gymnast) the 360 degree rule of rotation is the defining characteristic of the game differing from flip cups pathetic display of teams simply nudging or tapping their cups 180 degrees in mindless, mechanical fatuousness.

once the cup has landed correctly, the next player in line flips her cup, and so on, until all members on a side have completed flipping. the team whose members finished first are said to have won the round and a point; the losing side must then take a “losers’ shot” of beer, filling their cup to the regulation line and then drinking it before filling it again for play. the next round begins with the person next in line from the first round’s starter and the starter becomes the anchor—going last this round.

this shift continues until all members of the teams have started a round. at this time, points (rounds) won are calculated, and the team with the most points is declared that game’s winner.

two variations (or new rules) have been established directly addressing two possible point total phenomenons.

the first: in the event of a tie (due to an even number of players on the teams) a “full beer tie-breaker” is called, and a sudden death round using a full cup of beer is commenced starting with the team captains, or first flippers from the regulation rounds.

the second: in the event of one side shutting-out any points by the opposing side, the losing side must perform a “full beer skunk chug” in which they fill their cups to the upper-line with beer and then drink it—thus demonstrating, and perpetuating, their sh-ttiness at turbo cups.
sally: girl, i’m sick of those date-raping flip cups -ssholes, let’s go find ourselves some exciting, s-xually adroit turbo cups players.

tina: yeah, i find their lack of flipping ability and ethically ambiguous stance on cup games reflective of their inability to perform in bed.