turtle fuck

when a soldier hits another soldier’s kevlar helment with his own kevlar. since the cover is usually green camo it looks like to turtles rubbing together, hence the name. i t isn’t used much anymore because most soldiers are running around in desert uniforms now because of oef and oif
{sneaks up from behind joe snuffy} ow, what the f-ck you hit me in the head for?
a f-ck done in the style of a turtle. meaning in a sh-ll.
a turtlef-ck is a little-known s-x position that is slightly more complicated than most. it requires that both partic-p-nts wear turtlesh-lls large enough to place themselves in (this usually means a fake or synthetic turlesh-ll). the actually s-x must be done almost doggystyle but with the sh-lls on, and very slowly. this cannot be stressed enough as any rapid movement in the turtlef-ck will make it unsuccessful. and green paint may be needed in some very very special circ-mstances. also, there must be a song about turtles, a cartoon featuring turtles, or a large poster with a turtle on it. or, in ideal situations for a turtlef-ck, there may be as many as 500 live turtles in the immediate vicinity of the turtlef-ck(s).
a common misconception about the turtlef-ck is that it does not alter the birth of children. a good example is how most people believe the teenage ninja turtles to be the result of some crazy radioactive sh-t and turtles. the truth of the matter is that the teenage ninja turtles are the result of a highly successfull turltef-ck between chuck norris and wonderwoman.
turtlef-ck is also sometimes a term used to a person. see the example 1.
1-dude, you are a turtlef-ck.
2-he/she is down for a good ol’ turtlef-ck.
3-hey baby, i got the sh-lls, time for a turltef-ck!
military or construction worker slang for when one person slams his helmet on another persons helmet while on their head.
hey sh-thead. ever see a turtle f-ck? no? wham!
cut off his/her arms and legs turn him/her over and throw him/her on their bed and f-ck them…..like a turtle
i totally turtle f-cked her
when the girl you are f-ckin just wants to lay on her back while you stick your c-ck in her sh-ll. she will refuse to do any sort of work and rather just last there legs wide open and motionless. (sometimes groaning like a turtle during mating -see youtube-)
“baby im tired you get on top and work it…noooo i jus wanna lay hereeeee” you have a cl-ssic turtle f-ck on your hands
to light a cigarette off of another cigarette that is already lit
john: i need a light for my cigarette.
bob: i don’t have anymore matches, i’ll just give you a turtle f-ck.
two hard hats h-tting, usually used in joke form with a new kid, or soft handed man, new to wearing a hard hat.
joker: dude, have you ever seen a turtle f-ck?

jokee: no, why?

joker: do you know what it sounds like?

jokee: no, what?

joker hits jokee’s hard hat with his own.

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