tweezot
an individual who goes around sucking farts out of dead seagulls.
it’s rare but i saw a tweezot on the beach today!
this is a montreal (which has a great public-transport system) term, that i first heard in the late 1950’s. a tweezot is a pervert who gets down on his knees to suck the farts out of the cushions of the back bench seat of a bus, particularly if an attractive person has just relinquished that seat. the back seat was favoured because on the older montral busses the row of seats in front of it had a sort of panel that blocked the driver’s view of anyone crouching down there. (the busses have since been redesigned.)
a young secretarial type stood up to get off the crowded bus at the next stop. i tried to push my way to the vacant seat, but some tweezot got there first.
a person who walks around the beach, picking up dead seagulls and squeezing the farts out of them. when coming into contact with them on the beach it is best to simply run away asap, do not make eye contact. do not -ssociate with tweezots at all costs.
little kid: “mommy, what’s that man doing to that seagull?”
mom: “don’t look at him son, he’s just a tweezot, we don’t -ssociate with their type”.
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