uncle jimmy

the act of sticking a spoon up someone’s -n-s, hence the uncle in the name, and then jimmying it around so as to rupture the colon.
“did you hear what happened to frank?”
“yeah man, some guy gave him an uncle jimmy and it almost killed him.”
a large gut/stomach usually caused after years of excessive drinking, or lack of excercise.
dude, that guy on the beach…his uncle jimmy is huge.

man, everybody’s got an uncle jimmy with the size of his fat -ss.
a white male, equipped with scathing wit and a gentle demeanor, cow-worshipping, pot smoking, best friend to all but mostly moolettes, which are rare mythical creatures that only occur when there is a new moon.
together, uncle jimmys and moolettes roam the earth, combating evil white dogs and running mcdonalds.
both are known to moo often and in different pitches, to signify different emotions. it is said the rain falls and little flowers grow when they moo together in harmony.
#1: my best friend beat the p-ss out of a small dog today with a hammer while repeating the phrase “death rides a pale cow” over and over again.

#2: dude, he’s such an uncle jimmy.

#1: moo.

#2: i know how you feel. uncle jimmy has such a strong effect on me. let’s go kick a puppy while eating a burger.