Unifaggot
an old friend who, usually around freshers’ week, instantly forgets every aspect of who they were before they attended university and embraces their new surroundings to the point of: forgetting everyone they hung out with for the past two decades; constantly updating facebook with statuses such as
“omg dontrmember last nite!”, “fire alarm…”, “missed lecture this morning lolololol” “cant wait to go back to derp uni, home sucks”; and endless blurred photos of one sh-tty bar.
you can try and remain their friend, but they’ve sadly become insular, inane, and boring within a few weeks. no cure is yet known, and these symptoms usually do not wear off. in time, the inane updates will move on to work and children. expect to be forgotten, and then cut them out first, like a boss.
oh wow, you stole a traffic cone last night? amateur. that reeks of unif-ggotry. anyone can do that. think big! i want a motorway exit sign on that kitchen wall!
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