University of Alabama

a state funded university located in central alabama. it is well known for its beautiful campus, excellent academic standards, attractive coeds, and storied athletics program. this inst-tution has garnered a great deal of esteem in both academics and athletics, so much so that vacuous simpletons that are wildly covetous of said achievements are compelled to go onto websites and use soph-m-ric insults to describe this excellent bastion of higher learning.

see also: main cause of little brother syndrome.
at the university of alabama, student athletes are actually required to not only attend cl-sses, but also be able to p-ss them.
a redneck intellectual backwater. ranks 10th among the 12 sec inst-tutions in both sat and gre averages. mississippi state university & the university of mississippi, aka “ole miss,” rank 11th & 12th. located in tuscaloosa, a pathetic p-ck-rwood wal-martesque twilight zone sh-thole out near mississippi and former headquarters of the kkk. uber obsessed with auburn and “footbawl,” few “students” would know proust from proulx from prado. its nemesis, auburn, is another “university” in the state, but it is close to georgia and atlanta, with several thousand students from metro atlanta, the northeast, the midwest, the west coast and asia who have diminshed the inbred factor substantially – while increasing standardized test averages to something approaching halfway respectable. the university of alabama female “students” attend cl-sses wearing flip-flops and with their stringy platinum blonde hair haphazardly piled megask-nk fashion atop their heads. male “students” invariably feature “bama bangs,” which makes them appear to have even lower iqs. they speak with accents which make most cringe, as if they are the products of 800 years of inbreeding. jacked up pickup trucks abound, “bama” tattoos aren’t a rarity and an unsettling percentage of the natives (especially the “bama bangs” sporting males) “chew” (chew and spit tobacco). the females see these “attributes” as signs of their men not being gay. “he mat be dumbern possum sh-t, but he’s mah my-yun!”
the university of alabama cheer: “ramma jamma belly hamma row tah row! nah less play sum foot bawl!”
university on the alabama and mississippi state line. famous for george wallaces stand in the schoolhouse door. fans still slavishly adore the man that ‘r-ssled’ a little bitty bear cub, smoked unfiltered cigarrettes, used hookers as a bait and switch and drank rot gut whiskey to further his football team as they won over a clamed 156 national championships. has a large percentage of “sidewalk alumni” who are quick to anger and have trouble expressing themselves eloquently. known to beat or shoot family members or significant others especially at halftime of games that the tide is losing. this gives the state of alabama a high rate of trailer park women that fall up the steps. donald f-gan had it right “‘they call these cracker -ssholes this grandiose name like the crimson tide, and i’m this loser, so they call me this other grandiose name, deacon blues?’ ” most students drop out after an alcohol and drug fueled football season to an outside sales job at daddy’s work.
i could not get into auburn or uab so my daddy is sending me to the university of alabama.
home of alabama football and of the most delusional fans in all of sports. espn’s pat forde said it best, “irrational p-ssion and general delusion don’t just drive the bus at alabama. they drive the wheels off it like dale earnhardt.”
the mascot for the university of alabama is clearly an elephant, but they say roll tide.
the most amazing place on earth. the greatest college in the sec and since the sec runs ncaa athletics that makes it the greatest college in the country. it is a place where tradition matters…12 national championships, 21 sec championships, and more bowl appearances than any other team in ncaa football. it’s where the great “bear” bryant became a football legend. the place where the amazing nick saban now hangs his hat.

one of the biggest party schools in the country. everyone has a good time in a visit to the u of a.
auburn university wishes it was the university of alabama.
at this university, instead of a student id, they issue each student a mirror that fits in your wallet and a $1 bill.

no need for your driver’s license, just use your fake…and bring a koozie, they only got cans.
“hey bro, you got some white on your nose…”

” its cool, its part of the dress code at the bar”
the premier university in the state of alabama and located in the town of tuscaloosa, aka t-town.

many people who don’t attend or who aren’t from the south make fun of it, but the fact is the university is extremely wealthy and has an abundance of some of the best looking people in this country (probably due to their high family income and nice weather). many prominent american families with “old money” send their children here, as they know they will make connections with similar families and continue the tradition of running this country. it is home to the most legendary football team in the history of the game, and has won 13 national championships. many people like to boast on how their school is better because they have “higher test scores and harder curriculum” and a bunch of cr-p, when really what matters is not the grades you make but the hands you shake. it is said to be racist, particularly by northerners and westerners, when the people at ua are just strong willed people who love their way of life and would die defending it, whether that be from enemy nations or liberals in the far corners of our own beloved country. most are of anglo-saxon descent, and their lineage goes back to the founding of this country.
sam: hey michael, what school are you going to after graduation?

michael: i think i am going to attend the university of alabama. roll tide!

sam: nice! i guess hooking up with gorgeous women and meeting other wealthy people is worth the humidity..maybe i’ll go there!

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