University of Colorado

the university of colorado has great academics & research. it is ranked the 11th best public school in the world. cu has the hottest girls anywhere. academics are rivaled only by the parties. the hill is where everybody lives and parties. pearl street has upscale shopping, bars, and street performers. too many californians come here and think they own the place. everybody gets high. yuppie-hippies. world cl-ss skiing. everybody is white (except for a few asians). denver kicks -ss and is only 20 minutes away. b-ms everywhere, norlin 420! sunny 300+ days a year, the flatirons, gdi liberals, decent greek system, nitro
are you going to the university of colorado football game?

maybe, after i pack another bowl.
located in the city of boulder, colorado. not to be confused with cu denver or colorado springs. 25,000 undergraduates. 5,000 graduates. considered a public ivy league; 11th best public university in the nation. average gpa for freshmen in 2009 was 3.677: average act ranged from 27 to 29 (and higher), excluding the leeds school of business and the college of engineering and applied sciences, which tend to be higher. students termed “yuppie hippies”, or quoted as “peace sign on my dad’s bmw”. ranked as one the most beautiful campuses in world; also one of the most expensive to attend..; universal tuscan-“italian-ate” styled buildings. smart students, who still enjoy a party. the hill. pearl street. 29th street. “cali kids”. parties! division 1 sports suck. cl-sses can be tedious. directions based on the flatirons. skiing and snowboarding.
where do you attend college? i attend the university of colorado at boulder.
11th best public school in the u.s.? ok, because everyone in academia knows that cu-boulder stands among schools like william & mary, ucla, wisconsin, and so forth. last time i checked out the u.s. news & world report college rankings, cu was considered the 77th-ranked school in the nation. right below michigan state (and right next to harvard of course).

according to the national center for education statistics, cu-boulder’s iq-range for the act is 24-28. that means that if you sit in on a cl-ss at cu, there’s a one-in-four chance that the kid next to you got less than a 24 on the act. that means there’s a 25% chance the kid next to you hasn’t learned how to tie his shoes or feed himself yet.

well, excuse me if i’m not blown away by cu’s imagined prestige.
cu student: dude, i heard from my cousin from maine that the university of colorado is like, practically, the harvard-of-the-west. like, we got the smartest kids ‘n’ everything, and everyone’s dying to go here.

cu student 2: i thought so bro, let’s finish this bowl off and touch each other and talk about stuff we don’t understand.

real-life uva student: there’s a university in colorado?
also known as c-nt university. or the university of c-nts at b-llsack.

if you want to go to a place were the hot girls all drop out after freshman year, the nerdy girls are prude, the yippies (yuppy hippies) are as far as the eye can see and the weed smells and tastes like the yippies -ss crack then it is the perfect school for you.

so many party’s that none of them are quality, unless a stoner guy smoking ganja out of his parents bas-m-nt is cool to you.

mascot is pathetic, buffalo’s suck so bad they were killed and domesticated by barbaric neanderthals with obsidian knives and arrows. their skin was used to cover the floor’s of tp’s. were any respectable indian chieftain spent his whole childhood hunting a ram so that he could come home victorious and a man, he proudly wore the rams fur as a symbol of his power for the rest of his life.

csu’s football team lost there game against cu but still ended up going to and winning a bowl game and drafting two players into the nfl in 2009.

cu’s football team beat csu but came in last in the big 12, missed out on the bowl season, and drafted no players to the nfl. but their football team did rape 3 freshman girls last year.
friend: im going to cu this year.
me: did you know the cu is a vietnamese word meaning p-n-s, and a portugese word meaning -sshole?
friend: no how did you know that?
me: i go to a school were education matters, not money like the university of colorado.
friend: man, i want to go to csu now, the girls are hotter anyway, and the men are….men.