University of Pitching
founded in 2008 in a small town in kentucky called barbourville. the founder, jacob scalf, was an outstanding pitcher at knox central high school. the pitching university is one of the finest universities in all of the continental united states of america. sclaf has inspired many little kids to love peanut b-tter sandwiches and become great pitchers. if it wasn’t for him, the panthers wouldn’t have played a single game in the 2008 season. the whole team depended on jacob to win the ball game on the mound. jacob opened up a univeristy so he could teach other little kids how to throw the duece. jacob had 3 techniques to become a great pitcher. 1) always out think the batter. 2) eat a peanut b-tter sandwich everytime before bedtime, and be in bed by 9:00. 3) do the wall drill everyday… the university of pitching has spread around the world. jacob is a great instructor, and a big fan of his favorite pitcher of all time, jeff garmon. jacob runs a 5 month program for training. it takes over $10,000 to buy all the peanut b-tter so the kids can get all their protein. all of the kids that graduate from the univeristy with a curve ball degree donates back to the university. they donate old b-lls, right handed mitts. and most of all, they donate all kinds of peanut b-tter, peter pan, skippy, jif, smuckers, and all of it has to be extra creamy. this university is the most famous univeristy in the entire world. and everybody should think the one and only pitcher of the 13th region, jacob scalf. knox central loved scalf so much, they built a new ball field so n-body else can step on scalf’s mound.
kc coach: where is scalf?
hendrickson: he will be here coach.
kc coach: he better, or we will have to forfeit the game.
hendrickson: coach, we have other players.
kc coach: hendrickson, we need a pitcher like jacob, not throwers like you, andy, and the rest of the team.
hendrickson: sorry coach, i know jacob runs the team.
kc coach: yes he does, you better worship him.
university of pitching
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