Upper Beeding


a rural sh-t-hole in the south of england, populated almost entirely by pretentious geese, seeking to make a living from eating sh-t and baby ducklings. whilst many do comment on many beedingers’ s-xual inactivity, it is apparent to anyone who visits there that the female beedinger is highly promiscuous, and has every erotic fantasy, ranging from autoasphyxiation to b-st–lity, and back again.

the beedinger is usually in tight with the resident of steyning in every posible aspect of life, but always fall short of steyning standards.
dude 1: argh, did you see that upper beeding girl?
dude 2: grr, what a sl-t!
dude 1: how many geese do you reckon she keeps in her bedroom?
dude 2: 10 and a half.
dude 1: what’s the half for?
dude 2: she uses it when she get s-xually bored.
dude 1: fun.

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