use the paddles

a phrase often used on people in trouble or requesting help. unlike conventional phrases, it means that you can’t help them, and they’re on their own. coined by a bystander watching a man trying to fight pirates off his paddle boat, but was overpowered.

usually used in cases when the troubled person has no hope of winning otherwise, or is very likely to fail without outside support.
soldier: “sir! the enemy broke through our defenses! we can’t hold them off!”
commander: “use the paddles!”

student 1: “hey, i forgot to study for the test today. any advice you could give me?”
student 2: “well, i guess you have to use the paddles.”
student 1: “aw, sh-t.”

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