Vagenie

a genie that magically comes out of the v-g-n- after s-x or other stuff related to the v-g-n-
the magic vagenie appeared out of my v-g-n- when i touched it
3 more definitions
noun: (pr-nounced: vuh-jee-nee) – the mystical spirit demon that resides deep inside a woman’s v-g-n- that will come out and grant you three magical wishes if you are lucky enough to awaken it from its slumber.

difficulty: 10/10 (nearly impossible!)

note: only four men throughout history have been able to awaken the vagenie:

1 – richard the lionhart – who had the forethought to lead the crusades and set us up for the last good indiana jones movie.

2 – saladin – the sultan of egypt and syria who led the muslims against the crusaders and eventually recaptured palestine from the kingdom of jerusalem after his victory in the battle of hattin…or did he…?

3 – genghis khan – emperor of the mongol empire, the largest contiguous empire in history, and cameo superstar of bill & ted’s excellent adventure.

4 – lou diamond phillips – star of la bamba and young guns. consequently while lucky enough to wake the vagenie, its overwhelming omnipresent force rendered lou mentally challenged, ergo no young guns iii and a remaining filmography of pretty much cr-p after the early 90’s.

honorable mention awarded to billy zane – keep tryin’ big guy!
i was f-cking this girl really hard the other night, like really railing b-lls deep, then all the sudden these strange popping noises and intense, vibrant, blinding lights and mist emanated from her p-ssy and the motherf-cking vagenie appeared out of nowhere and granted me three magical wishes!

i asked it for a bottle of chloroform, some roofies and a scream mask!
on some magical occasions, whilst rubbing a cl-toris, a cloud of smoke may exit the v-g-n- heralding the arrival of a genie. this genie may grant any one v-g-n- related wish, from regular s-x to dp to fisting and on and on. just don’t ask the vagenie for -n-l s-x as this can only be granted by the -ssgenie. such requests make the vagenie angry and can often backfire.
sam rubbed and rubbed barbara’s cl-t until the blue smoke swirled from her v-g-n- and the vagenie appeared. sam ignorantly said, “oh great vagenie, please grant me the pleasure of f-cking barbara in her dumper.” this made the vagenie very angry as dumper s-x is the providence of his cousin, the -ssgenie. instead of what sam wanted, the vagenie granted one queef from barbara right in sam’s face, then disappeared. better luck next time, sam.
the mystical genie that lives inside a v-g-n-.
boelle: hey want to try and call forth my vagenie?
nrad: h-ll yeah b-tch!
boelle: give me a good rub and he’ll give you three wishes.